Feeling--tired
Reading-- Devil's Food Cake by Josi S. Kilpack
Listening to-- nothing

This post is going to be a lil different in that it's intended to be a...fusion...of a couple of memes or writing prompts. I HOPE it's a success. (I'm a lil fuzzy-headed and tired from a week of stress and drama, so if my point of this entry is a lil muddled or lost in a mire of verbosity, I apologize.)

About a week ago on Facebook a fellow member of an online writing group I'm a part of posted a great question she got from a blog she reads:

What is your word for the year ahead? A word which contains within it a seed of invitation to cross a new threshold?

Immediately I thought of the word HOPE and posted it to her comments. Hope. That word has been sitting at the back of my mind since 2012 started. Last year was...difficult, especially the last half. The relationship I was in for 10 months ended in mid-May. I moved out on my own down to Poky in mid-July, but because of a lack of reliable, stable care, I had to camp at my parents' house till November when new aides were hired. (It felt like I was living in limbo and had no real home.) And even after I came back with two main aides staying, I've had a quick turnover of a few other aides, so on the whole since November I've had five aides. =0/ Plus, in the last three...four months I've injured the same foot at least three times--the first time requiring seven stitches, the first time ever I've had stitches that wasn't operation-related. Therefore I was happy to see 2011 go, while being filled with hope that this year will be better.

My friend Emma, from England, did a survey of her past year last month, which I thought was kinda fun. But I got the idea to do it a lil differently. Instead of looking back at 2011, I thought, Why not look forward to 2012, using my focus word 'HOPE?' So--here's my survey for 2012! *smiles*

1) What do you hope/want to do in 2012 that you've never done before? Buy my first ever laptop. I thought I would never get one because I didn't see the point; I've been quite happy with a desktop till now. But now that I live on my own again I've seen my siblings and friends with their laptops and how convenient it is. When I was at my parents' in the Fall it was hard for me not to have access to my blog's editing files and not being able to blog. Not to mention being unable to work on the fantasy story I'm hoping to write. So when my previous desktop went kaput I figured it was time to save up for a laptop.

2) Have you made any New Year's resolutions this year? As I've mentioned a few times on this blog in the past--I quit making resolutions. I can never remember them long enough to follow through. I guess the closest I'm gonna get this year is choosing the focus word 'HOPE' and seeing what comes of it through the year.

3) What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011? A break from so many life challenges clumped so close together. I know we need adversity to help us learn and grow and become better people, but dealing with so many trials piggybacked on top of each other--even with the Lord's help--was a challenge in itself! I know I needed the personal growth I've gone through the last several months for whatever lies ahead, but I have to be honest, I hope I'm done with hardship for awhile. I could use a respite.

4) Where will most of your money go? Bills. Then my laptop and any accessories I'll buy for it.

5) Compared to this time last year, are you:

1. Happier or sadder?
2. Thinner or fatter?
3. Richer or poorer?

I.  This is a hard question to answer. Perhaps I am a lil sadder than last year at this time, because of what I've gone through in the past seven...eight months. I feel a lil wiser and...maybe even less...idealistic?

II.  Hmmm. Maybe a lil thinner? People have told me lately my face is thinner, and my aides have told me I feel a lil lighter. So if I am losing weight, hopefully it'll continue!

III.  Probably richer, due to different circumstances now that I'm back on my own.

6) What do you hope you'll do more of? Write and blog, of course. Being unable to blog regularly cured me of my "Blogging Blahs." I'm also hoping to get out of my Cancerean (the Crab) shell and do some activities. After all, that's why I moved to Pocatello: to have a social life.

7) What do you hope you'll do less of? I've begun to notice I tend to complain about certain people, and I don't like the way it makes me feel or look. I'm gonna work on less complaining and see if talking with these individuals about whatever habits or quirks they have that bother me cuts the complaining.

8) Do you hope to fall in love in 2012? It would be nice, but to be honest, I dunno if I'm ready yet. I'm still a bit bitter over the last half of my relationship with my ex-boyfriend. Even though I had a previous relationship back in 1998 and an online fling or two between the years 2001 and 2005, my most recent ex is the first man I've loved truly. And while I don't love him anymore, I know I need to drop the emotional baggage I've been carrying before I can hope to enter another relationship. This time hopefully with the man I'll be with forever, the who'll love me unconditionally for who I am, as much as I'll love him. If it happens this year--GREAT!!! If not, hopefully there's next year...

9) What is your favorite tv program this year? I've a number of favorites I watch throughout the week on ABC, but the one I'm wanting on DVD the most already is Once Upon a Time! I've already decided when the first season comes out I'm going to have a faerie tale marathon.

10) What will you do on your birthday, and how old will you be? I dunno. Maybe go to a movie with my friends and do something down here with my family. And a woman should never reveal her age!

11) What is one thing about 2011 that you hope will be the same this year? I noticed for the three weeks I was here in Poky right after I moved down, before my two-month campout at my parents, that I felt Heavenly Father's presence quite strongly. It felt like He was the only one there for me while I was adjusting to the move. It was a humbling and...bittersweet? experience. I was--and am--grateful to know He was/and is there for me when I need Him...when I need someone to comfort me. I hope I will continue feeling His presence that way throughout the year. I hope I can be humble enough to have that feeling.

12) What is one thing about 2011 that you hope will be different this year? I hope to feel a sense of home. Ever since I moved down to Poky I haven't felt like I've had a home. I was only in my apartment three weeks before I had to go back with Mom, not really enough time for this apartment to begin feeling like home. And when I camped out at the house I grew up in, I really didn't feel like I was "home" again. I felt like a guest! So this year, I hope to find my niche, have this apartment feel like home and feel like I belong.

13) How would you describe the word HOPE?

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Soul Stories
02-09-2012 Thursday 13: Netflix
02-10-2012 Rainbow Crow
02-11-2012 My Crow Project
02-12-2012 Crow: Keeper of All Sacred Law
02-21-2012 My Book List for 2012

moon phase